Wanted: a fresh start in new home. No agents.

I'm a 42 year old man, a working professional without children, looking for a fresh start in a new area.

Originally I'm from Lancashire but have been living in north/east London on/off for a couple of decades. I'm now looking for somewhere new, either in deepest south London or in East Sussex/Surrey/Kent.

At this stage in life I'm craving somewhere a bit quieter, greener, more hilly, close to the countryside and with a smaller, less nebulous community- a place that is easier to feel part of.

I'm open to mature house-shares (more on this later!), live-in-landlords as well as lodging arrangements. I'm seeking either a double room or something self-contained (e. g. studio, garden house, annex).

More about me...

Although I'm much better at relaxing than I used to be, I do still like to keep busy.

My main work is as a couples counsellor and individual psychotherapist, which I mostly practice in person from a rented space in East London (that I intend to keep for the time being but I'll eventually find a more local space). I also do some online sessions from home.

Aside from that I run philosophy, therapy and art-related workshops/events, and in the summer months I volunteer every other weekend for a drugs/psychological welfare charity at small UK festivals.

I've always a few creative projects on the go too that I'm either getting lost in or procrastinating on.

I love walking in the countryside, particularly up/down hills, in most weather conditions :). Downtime I spend reading novels and watching movies. I keep screentime to a minimum and am not on social media but I listen to a fair few podcasts. I bought a second hand car in summer and currently enjoy doing trips at the weekends whenever I can.

Outside of festivals, my partying days are more or less over. I'm introverted and love alone time but am very sociable in bursts, and set aside time to see friends each week. These days I like social events that have less of a hedonist and more of a geeky focus where I can meet interesting people on a similar wavelength.

My partner lives in East London and so it's likely I'd travel to spend 2 nights a week with her. Likewise she probably will come to stay for the night on occasion. With this in mind, I'll consider 5-night arrangements (Mon-Fri/Sun-Thu) too.

In terms of the living situation I'm looking for...

20 years of communal living experiences have taught me that what really matters to me is living with people who are emotionally mature, trustworthy, speak sincerely and act respectfully towards others. I've been fortunate enough to have had this in my two most recent living situations, and they have really set the standard for me.

I appreciate people who look after shared spaces (keep them reasonably tidy, clean, usable), voice discontent (don't sit on it and become anxious/withdrawn/spiteful/resentful/paranoid), don't make excessive noise outside of agreed times, are realistic about the challenges of living with others (and not conflict-avoidant) and have a general understanding of how to create a harmonious environment.

I really enjoy good conversation and truly getting to know housemates when they have the capacity/presence for it. I'm a warm, affable person who takes a real interest in people's lives and asks good questions.
At the same time I'm not someone who needs to make small talk and am comfortable with silence.

I appreciate a house dinner, cup of tea, pint at the local, a film, an extended kitchen/living room natter or walk around the block every now and then. If we become lifelong friends through living together (as has happened so many times before) then that's a lovely bonus but never an expectation.

One more thing I'd to mention as I want to find people who are on the same page:

I'm looking for a place where people don't use devices on loudspeaker mode (social media/podcasts/Netflix etc) in communal areas.

We had a no-work calls, no-phone calls, no-"device audio" policy in my last houseshare and it was wonderful. If you're a regular doom-scroller, addicted to your device or use the living room as your WFH office then, with respect, we're not a good match.

Intentionally I've been upfront and thorough here but if you have any questions then please ask.

Happy to do a video intro before arranging a viewing.

References available for those who need them.

Thanks for reading (if you got this far).

Sammy