Seeking a cosy, uninfested rat hole

I have just spent 7 months travelling Europe and Canada, but it's time to rebuild and settle back into London. The prospect of pebble washing by the horrible river banks of the Thames and then relaxing by a steaming pile of burning bin bags is far more alluring than returning up north to my hometown. I also miss the thrill of taking the tube and then crying when I get home because it makes me sad.

More about me: I love washing up, make a mean cup of tea and am always up for cooking with housemates. I also love live music and comedy, but doesn't everyone?

If you've read this far, you're probably thinking of reporting me, trolling me via DM or inviting me round for a viewing. To be honest, all three won't stop me crying myself to sleep with worry at night. Just promise I can bring a chaperone or some conversation cards when I come to see the room?

Thank you for the opportunity Lord Sugar

Matt

(Angel, Shoreditch , Tooting, Clapham, Battersea - A list of places I haven’t been mugged in yet and therefore am keen to live in)