Lodger required

I am trying to sell my home and move away as I am finding it impossible to live normally anymore.
Therefore, I am looking for 3 lodgers to share my home so that I can actually go and view properties TO LEAVE.
I just feel I do not know who is an enemy in this town anymore or friend.
I feel I have lost too much money through a chosen career pathway.
I have great concerns about extended family members who I am controlled with visiting and have to have fights with the pension people to get money on time so I can pay expenses to travel.
I find there are periods of my day where I feel I am being watched, monitored and judged.
I also find there are times in my day when I find it hard to function for about half an hour.
Doctors appointments are delayed because of these setbacks.
I have great concerns that the people who are forcing there way into my life are going to be my power of attorney when I am elderly (I know we have to make decisions about who to have - they have to be level headed in pressure; honour our wishes if making a difficult decision; and trustworthy but also worthy people - not people who think they are doing the right thing - I want someone who deals with my power of attorney to be someone who makes decisions that lines up with Gods word and my beliefs).
I do not want forced deliveries in my home or forced relationships/ I do not want the general public harrassing me when I make my last wishes. These are all things that if I do not put into practice now or take steps towards will mean I die with strangers and could be cuckooed.
I am a great believer that isolation causes cognitive decline but equally no one wants to be hounded until we drop dead of cancer either.
I also believe people have a choice of career and its usually the one they trained for and not the one they landed up being deceived into.
There is a difference between dying away from home with strangers and having forced dependancy and making actions in desperation as opposed to those who had degrees at an early age who are able to gain more control over their lives and have dignity, control and peace of mind and no financial devestation or loss of autonomy. Basically I want my money to go to an Emergency fund for slippers and hazards and trip rails and towards making a buddy system with people I want in my life and have chosen and got to know over years, not people forced into my life through domestic violence, needs that appease them but show no regard for my wants and desires and as my GOOD FRIENDS STATE - ITS TIME I HAD MY OWN LIFE.
I do believe we should help the elderly but I also believe there comes a time when we need to save our lives from devestation, wreckage and ship wreck - is it right to prevent people from sex, relationships, marriage, consistency of income for longer than 25 years!!!! Personally I feel a person should be able to have a peaceful pension without harrassment, intrusion, annoyance and battles.
If a person wants to work in a care home as a volunteer when they are old they should have the choice.
Having a consistent income and decent pension is the difference between having delivery drivers and cashiers as friends.
I do not want to work for any organisation that seeks to separate older people again and is willing to put people through very dangerous situations.
Neither do I wish to be wondering if family members I have not seen for years are selling their homes as sitting tennants!!!!
Whilst I see the benefit of observing older people, I do think its only fair that people should not be forced to have only older friends for nearly 20 years. I appreciate that some friends were the best gift you could ever have and were never forced.
Age affects our choices of work and our level also affects our income all of which you can easily be bullied out of if weak and vulnerable.
I also want to look at what I consider is a better life for me in the future and this includes: wellness; spiritual air that helps me navigate clear and concise decisions and wellness.
When we suffer harm its good to work out who caused this harm to you and unwise to keep returning to anything that is clearly destructive to your life.
I want to have life satisfaction. I am not sure that I have found that in this town due to the limitations on length of employment and quantity which is fine. I just need to move on to get what I want but I do not wish to have people jumping on trains when the doors close following me about on train platforms, following me to interviews or care homes. Neither do I really want people sending deliveries to get into my life or trying to buddy up to me in friendship when my life is not in that phase presently.
I do not want guilt and manipulation to stay in any career pathway that has brought devestation and wreckage to my relationships or finances.
In my future I would hope to have people who do not lower me and would notice if I had slept in the same bed for a year or tripped over a wire in my home with a zimmer frame. These are all things that I am not confident will happen in this town so I am looking for another home and would like some lodgers to help me do this please.
I do not wish to be slandering companies because they want to hurt me and promote others, neither be angry that others get the perks I worked for.
I WANT TO HAVE A BETTER LIFE.
ARE YOU THE LODGER WHO WANTS TO SAVE ME!!!!!!!? I HAVE SAVED OTHERS AND I NOW NEED TO BE SAVED.
I want to create stable connections.
I want to visit family I have been separated from and I have upset.
I want to give my money to people who I am related to by blood and not strangers or church leaders who never visit. I do not mind supporting these people.
I would like to have people I have known since I was a child and illiminate whatever is destroying all these connections.
I am now asking the question: "What about my life?"
My parents had a dog for longer than the six months I had one.
My parents had sex, marriage, children, a good pension.
I have spent many years with a laptop looking for work, looking for houses, doing training courses and helping others get a career and life. I WANT TO GO FROM WHAT WAS ONCE A LOVELY TOWN WHERE I KNEW EVERYONE TO WHAT IS NOW SOMETHING CONTROLLED AND VERY MISSERABLE FOR ME HERE OR I WANT FREEDOM FROM THIS INTRUSION, THIS FORCED CONTACT - DO ELDERLY NEIGHBOURS GET THIS KIND OF HARRASSMENT? I DO NOT WANT SOMEONE SPYING ON ME DAILY AND PREVENTING ME FROM APPLYING FROM SOME JOBS OR GOING PLACES - IF I WAS HAVING SEX WITH MY HUSBAND EVERY NIGHT WOULD THIS STILL BE TAKING PLACE? PROBABLY NOT. I am sorry this is trafficking, bullying, harrassment and domestic violence comes in many forms.
I do not see why I do not deserve to have a pension or retirement or a period in my life past this career choice where I can live in dignity without being forced to die without food, by stress or frozen! PLEASE CAN YOU HELP ME GET FREE FROM THIS - TO ME ITS ADULT ABUSE. NOT SURE WHAT YOU THINK. I also want to stay in one GP Surgery like I did until about 5 years ago. I DO NOT WANT THIS STRESS ANYMORE. I AM TOO OLD FOR THIS. ITS HARRASSMENT AND BULLYING - ARE YOU WILLING TO HELP ME ACHIEVE 10 YEARS OF PEACE AND HAPPINESS FOR HELPING SAVE THE LIFE OF ELDERLY PEOPLE, CARE FOR THEIR NEEDS, AND IN MORE WAYS THAN JUST LIFE SAVING! PLEASE. ITS TIME I HAD A CHRISTMAS THAT DIDN'T JUST INVOLVE SURVIVAL AND GETTING BY. I DO NOT NEED TO LIVE THIS WAY. I HAVE MONEY IN MY HOME TO PAY FOR THE MASSIVE LOSS OF PENSION - WHILST I WAS AN AIR HOSTESS IN MY PAST, OTHERS HAD HND COMPUTER DEGREES, HOUSING OFFICER DEGREES, COUNSELLING DEGREES, BUSINESS DEGREES, SOLICITOR DEGREES, NURSING, TEACHING AND HAVE HAD AN INCOME ALL THEIR LIVES. SORRY I WANT PEOPLE I RECOGNISE IN MY LIFE NOT PEOPLE WHO ARE PLANTED IN MY LIFE.