What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?

...Roberto!

Okay, so now we have your attention. Our current housemate Julie is moving back to Bournemouth and we're looking to fill her room.

The room: It's not massive but you could squeeze a double bed in and it is well decorated. It's the room with the red chimney breast. Alternatively I would consider swapping rooms, mine is the one with the green wall, for the right person (and the right amount of money mwahaha).

The house: Again its not massive, but the shower is a blinder, parking on street is particularly good for central Southsea, we have Sky+ and smart tv and a great collection of dvds, and everything has been recently redecorated.

The housemates: Megan: small, but perfectly formed, she has a great collection of herbal tea, doesn't complain when I steal her ice cream, and keeps the place tidy. She works as a nutritionalist type thing (I'm not really sure) and drives a crap Renault Clio.

Brendan: I take the bins out, and watch match of the day on Saturday night. I also run and play football and work as a surveyor. I drive an even crapper Renault Clio.

You: must enjoy eating together, either in or out, and the occasional mid-week drinks. Professional preferred, although unprofessional considered.