Wanna join a crazy house? 🤪🏠🎉😂?

We're looking for one or two more people to join our mad family👨‍👩‍👦👨‍👩‍👧‍👧. As a house of 7 🧖🍜we clearly need number 8/9 and there is a room up for grabs! The room available is the most fancy room in the entire house!!! It was renovated ny a former housemate and has fancy floorboards and no wallpaper on the walls. It is at the top of the house and was labelled as the former housemate as her "Repunzel turret". P. s if you don't have one we will find a mattress for the room, as that will be taken away.
We're 30 seconds walk from Ealing Common tube station and 30 seconds drive from the A406/Uxbridge Road junction for all your transport requirements. We have a Local Sainsbury's🍲🥞🦑🥔🥕🦐, various amenities and other dining establishments right on the doorstep.

For simplicity, your rent is fixed and includes council tax and all bills, utilities, internet, toilet paper, washing up liquid, whatever else you can think of that it should like pizza🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕. We’re not hiding any costs!

We all enjoy getting take out or cooking in (including BBQs 🥓🥓🍔🌭🍔🌭🍔🌭in the garden🌴!), games nights🎲🃏🎯🎳, roast dinners🍗, brewing beer/cider🍻, arts, crafts, manifesting to the moon🌝, bouncing on the trampoline 🦘🦘🦘🦘(which turns into a swimming pool in the summer🏊🐠), pyromania🔥, making songs, puns and doing projects (one of which is an outdoor pizza oven! Homemade pizza all the time!!!!!!!!🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕) You can expect an invite to Christmas 🤶🎅🎄🎄🎉🌲dinner forever after you leave...

🦔🦔🦔🦔THE AWESOME HOUSEMATES!!!!!!!! 😎🆒👨‍🍳🍪

Soraia is also the co-CEO of The Big Gay 🕴️ and a part-time witch 🧙‍♀️hailing from Portugal 🇵🇹🇵🇹🇵🇹🇵🇹. She is also a singer songwriter 👩‍🎤👩‍🎤(but when I’m in my room you can’t hear me). Plant mum to approximately a jungle 🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿 and a down to earth aries🐏.

Nasir is our resident pizza prince 🍕👑 by day (Pizza Express pro) and portrait wizard 📸✨ by passion. Born to cook—especially mouthwatering Bangladeshi dishes 🍛🔥—he keeps the kitchen smelling incredible and the vibes immaculate. Might photograph your soul if you sit still long enough 🧿📷. A lowkey legend with an eye for light and a heart full of spice. 🌶️🖤

Roxane is a French ✨dreamer with sugar in her soul and songs in her heart 🎶🥐. By morning, she’s whipping up magic in a pâtisserie café 🍰☕️—by night, she’s belting out bangers at karaoke like it’s the finale of a musical 🎤🌟. Future producer 🎬📖 with scenes already playing in her head, she’s got stories to tell and croissants to serve. Très chic, très sweet, très Roxane 🇫🇷💫

Lizzie is our cosy-core queen 👑🪴✨—part-time English teacher 📚, full-time bringer of calm, tissues, and surprisingly deep chats over tea, coffee, or wine ☕🍷💬. She smells like essential oils and kindness 💜🌸 and always knows where the plasters are (and how to fix your heart a little too) 🩹🫶. House mum energy but make it ✨aesthetic✨. A true home-maker with a soothing vibe and a plant for every mood 🌿🌿🌿. Mostly clean, always lovely, endlessly supportive 🧽💗📖.

Jacob is our resident gym warlock 🏋️‍♂️✨—summoning gains by day and rolling nat 20s by night 🎲🐉. A true Dungeons & Dragons devotee, he can bench-press your problems and narrate the campaign of your life at the same time. Sommelier-in-training 🍷😌 with a soft spot for a rich red, he’ll swirl, sniff, sip, and then casually whip up a boeuf bourguignon that tastes like a hug from a French grandma 🍲🇫🇷. Fashion diva extraordinaire 💃🪩, he treats the hallway like a runway and dressing up like a sacred art form. Equal parts strength, style, and chaotic good energy—Jacob is, simply put, the ✨main character✨.

Oliver is a thinly-veiled computer💻💻 geek🤓 who branches out into odd contraptions and explosive🤯💣💥🧨🧪 back-garden science. Find him sitting in exactly the middle of the living room, or in a tent 🎪in a far flung land...

Fran is our chaotic good polymath 🌪️🧠—master of ancient files 📜💾 and strange potions, over-enthusiastic storyteller 📖🔥 file and culinary daredevil 🧪🥴 (yes, she did put marmite in that). She builds things, makes stuff happen 🛠️✨, and has more hobbies than most people have socks 🧦💡: plants 🌱, fire 🔥, skating 🛼, jelly 🍮, monkey bars 🐒, coding 👩‍💻, game-making 🎮, bad films 📼, theatre 🎭, dictionaries 📚... the list is chaos (in the best way). Sleeps anywhere 🛏️🌳, swims everywhere 🏊‍♀️🌊, and once walked 96 miles because the train cost too much 🚶‍♀️💸. Certified womble.

Tea is our slightly tech-challenged techie 💻🤯 and certified Mistress of Fun™ 🎉🪩—spontaneous good times seem to follow her like glitter in a carpet. Moody yapper 💬, friendly menace 💖, and always game for weird adventures (bonus points if it involves blueberry matcha, Guinness, or both 🍵🍺🤤). Runs on YouTube tutorials, ChatGPT magic, and vibes alone 📱✨. Loves cringe reality shows 🫣, deep Reddit dives 👀, and keeping it chill but slightly unhinged 🤪🥴. Basically the duck emoji with a knife (except the knife is fake) 🦆🔪—but like, in a lovable gremlin way. IYKYK 😗

The house 🏡is very spacious. It has two kitchens equipped with washing machine, dishwasher and the usual and unusual cooking appliances (I'm talking to you candyfloss machine🍭). There is also a dining (/3d printer!) room, a large lounge with a projector and three and a half bathrooms 🚽🚽🚾(one of which is a brewery🍻).

Before you commit, you should meet us to see if we get on. We are good at making tea!!!!🍵☕☕🍵🎂🍰

Drop us a message with a little about you (also, most importantly, what's your Spoons🥄 breakfast🍳 order) and we'll be in touch!

You get a prize🏆 if you can tell us what we’re standing in front of in our profile picture.