Double room

Konichiwa bitches! Room Mate Required (well not really required, more like I want a live in Harbinger of Death, scaring pesky kids is optional, anyone with junk mail is a must they continuously leave the gate open like it's an open invite to a soup kitchen! anyway, I digress) . Must be clean and tidy, OCD cleaners most welcome. Can handle at least 7 shots of Hooch and at least have attempted the Cinnamon challenge. Never watched an episode of TOWIE, G Shore or Keeping up with the Kardashians. Be a Ninja, will accept having watched too many episodes of the Power Rangers and think they are ( I've already shot gunned the red one tho), don't worry these skills are only needed as the neighbours cat thinks it's fine to sit on my fence. Preferably have zero interior decor knowledge, I like shit as it is bro! Unless you can provide a Shark Tank cos that would be awesome! Only pet accepted is a Honey Badger, altho if you do have one of them I suggest we just let it have the whole house and never return for everyone's safety. Got carpet up in this hoe too. It was suggested I put in hard wood floors. But I was like F THAT. I don't want my feet to be cold when I get out of bed at night. Carpet. So soft. Transcends the walking barefoot experience. Keeping it short, if you think you meet this criteria apply within.
P. S When I say room mate, I will most likely never see you I'm there a grand total of 8 days a month, in a good month.
P. P. S If you have a Nando's Black card non of the above apply to you, I will send you a key in the post.