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‘I don’t resent flatsharing in my 50s - I love my beautiful London flat’

#RealRenters

Patrick, photographed with former flatmate, Bea, and current flatmate, Stuart

Patrick, 58, flatshares in a two-bed Edwardian terrace in Woolwich. As a life-long renter, he dismisses the expectation that shared living has an age limit. For Patrick, it means companionship and the chance to live in a flat he truly loves. This is his story, in his words…

I arrived in London from the US at Christmas in 1989 to visit my mum and never left. Since then, I’ve fluctuated between living alone and in shared houses, but I’ve always rented. Things simply never aligned so that I could afford to buy, but I don’t resent that. 

I’ve rented the same two-bed flat in Woolwich for the past eight years and have no immediate plans to move because I absolutely love my flat. It’s lovely and quiet, all but the bird song and foxes in the garden that we share with our neighbours downstairs. And my houseplants – all 37 of them – adorn the large living room which gets the most gorgeous sunlight.

I choose to live in the smaller of the two bedrooms as it has a view of the garden, which I prefer to the extra space. Originally, I paid slightly less rent to compensate for that, but now it’s split evenly on account of my decor dominating the shared spaces. I’ve had three different flatmates since living here so, naturally, my belongings have taken root.

“As you get older things tend to bother you less, or at least in my case, they bother me less. I'd rather enjoy my life than worry about money - which would be the case if I rented alone.”

 

My first flatmate messaged me through SpareRoom and we decided to ‘buddy up’, which is how we found this flat. In my experience, it’s difficult to determine if you’ll be compatible flatmates after just one coffee, so meet more than once if you can. Also, listen to people when they tell you about themselves. If they say ‘I’m a neat-freak’, believe them. My first flatmate and I made it almost four years living together including through lockdown before she moved on, which I think is quite impressive. 

I don’t resent that I flatshare for financial reasons. As you get older things tend to bother you less, or at least in my case, they bother me less. I'd rather enjoy my life than worry about money, which would be the case if I rented alone. I also think there’s much more value in renting a two-bed with another person, than a one-bed alone - particularly in London. It’s been a game changer in terms of the calibre of place I can afford. 

One of the best outcomes of flatsharing for me has been the companionship, having someone there to pick up a delivery while I’m out, or being able to ask each other “doo you need anything? I’m going to the shop”. And, sometimes, flatmate relationships can develop into more than that. My previous flatmate and I became great friends with our downstairs neighbour and we still meet up for dinners and drinks together. 

“The narrative that flatsharing at my age means something must have gone wrong is outdated. I'm very happy with the way I live. If it works for you, then that’s all that matters.”

 

There’s still a real stigma towards those who rent later in life. Tradition upholds that the goal is to buy but that doesn't account for everyone's lifestyle choices. Sure, I have friends who own their homes - they’re happy and I’m happy for them. But what I’ve come to realise is that their lifestyles are very different from mine and we have different priorities. Getting on the property later isn’t easy and, in my case, isn't my main priority.

Housesharing later in life is nothing new. And, given the current economic climate, it is far more common. People like me exist and always have, but the narrative that flatsharing at my age means that something must have gone wrong is outdated. I'm very happy with the way I live. If it works for you, then that’s all that matters. 

Want to share your renting story with us? Email press@spareroom.co.uk