Sun-Soaked Snugness: Your Cozy Clapham Double Room

🏡 Need 4th as a Chaos Co-Pilot (Snacks Included) Human Addition Only

Hello potential future housemate 😄

We’re on the hunt for a wonderful new housemate to join our home of Lia, Holly & Hello Kitty — yes, that is the cat’s real name. No, we didn’t choose it. Yes, it weirdly suits her 😉

Hello Kitty is cute, lovable, very opinionated, and runs this household. She has a routine. We obey it. There is photographic evidence attached 😍

⚠️ Important:
If you work from home full-time or don’t like cats, this will not be your house. Please save us all the time (and Hello Kitty the heartbreak).

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👯‍♀️ The Humans

💁🏻‍♀️ Lia – “House Mum”
Social but balanced (50% out, 50% home).
F1 obsessive 🏎️
Gin lover 🍸
Series binger 📺
420 friendly 🌿
Caffeine dependent ☕

🙋🏻‍♀️ Holly – The Social Sprinter
Running clubs & house parties.
Documentaries and Love Island (range).
Shopaholic tendencies 🛍️
Loves a coffee + deep chat combo ☕

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🐈‍⬛ The CEO (Hello Kitty)
• Always hungry.
• Likes cuddles on her terms only.
• Will watch David Attenborough with you.
• All rooms are technically mine (but Mum’s room is my fave).
• Balcony door must be opened so I can judge passers-by.
• Requires treats. Affection. Loyalty. Love.

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✨ Who We’re Looking For

You are:
✔️ Tidy, respectful & social
✔️ Working full-time (no full-time WFH)
✔️ A genuine cat lover
✔️ Healthy-ish lifestyle
✔️ Not a party animal, but up for after-work drinks
✔️ Happy to join dinners, gigs, stadium visits or chilled nights in
✔️ Understands personal space and shared living

We treat this house as a home, not a hotel. We hang out, eat together, go out together — but also respect downtime. If you’re someone who lives permanently in their bedroom, this won’t be the right fit.

🚫 If this dynamic isn’t what you’re after, please don’t enquire.

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📍 Location, Location, Location

Quiet flat just off Northcote Road, Clapham Junction
🚶‍♀️ 15 min walk to Clapham Junction Station (10 mins to Waterloo!)
🚇 Clapham South (Northern Line) ~15 mins
🚌 G1 & 319 buses 2 min walk away (perfect for rainy / lazy days 🙃)

🍻 Local pub literally across the road
🌳 Wandsworth Common & Clapham Common ~10 min walk
🍴Spoilt for choice restaurants
🎶 Lively during holidays with stalls, music & food — hard to beat this area
👟 Park run and gyms close by

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🏡 About the Flat
• Private entrance (shoes off — carpeted throughout!)
• Split-level layout
• WC on 1st floor
• Full bathroom on bedroom floor
• Balcony for sunny mornings, weekend pints or smokers
(less fun when it rains… character building)

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🛏️ The Bedroom
• Cozy double
• Storage under bed
• Chest of drawers + cupboard
• Gorgeous golden-hour light — sunsets hit hard on this side of the building 🌅

⚠️ Again (because it matters):
If you don’t like cats or are allergic — please don’t enquire.

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🖤 Friends, Family & Life Stuff
• Family & friends welcome — we’re a “bring them over, just give us a heads-up” household
• Guests are totally fine (the house calendar is our bible 📅)
• Shared calendar for trips, visitors & important life admin
• We love being organised — chaos, but controlled
• Communication is key: talk it out, don’t stew, good vibes only ✨

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🧺 Cleaning (aka Keeping the Peace)

We have a cleaning schedule — it’s detailed, not militant… just a light sprinkle of OCD.
Looking for someone who naturally keeps things tidy and respects shared spaces.

We clean as a team (sometimes together, sometimes rotating), so everyone pulls their weight and the flat stays lovely.
If you’re allergic to wiping surfaces or believe mess magically disappears on its own… this may not be your calling 😉

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📑 Admin Bits (Boring but Necessary)
• Right to live/work in UK (QR code)
• Proof of employment & salary (verified with employer)
• Copy of passport
• Private landlord — NO agents
• 🚫 No couples
• 🚫 No students
• 🚫 No additional pets

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💷 Money Matters

Upfront:
• First month’s rent
• Security deposit (5 weeks’ rent)

Bills (split equally between 3, paid 1st of each month):
• BT Internet: £43
• Council Tax: £83
• Gas & Electricity: £114
• Water: £84
• TV Licence: £190

➡️ £113.28 per person per month

Optional extras (if you want in):
• Netflix
• Family Spotify
• Disney+
• Amazon Prime
• Now TV (Series)
• Now TV (Sports)

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🧳 Move-In Date

📅 27th March 2026

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👀 Viewings

To be arranged with suitable candidates.

If you’ve read this far and thought “this sounds like my people” — send us a message telling us a bit about yourself (and how you feel about cats 👀🐈‍⬛).

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